Author Archives: Michael Fox

Our Consent Orders was court approved a week ago

I slept pretty terrible to be honest. I can feel that this situation is getting harder to live with everyday. It’s horrible. I am always feeling a bit stressed and will she just randomly pop her head in and say something. So you’ve got the constant thought something like that will take place.

Tonight I decided to check my email and discovered that I had been emailed from my lawyer 3 hours earlier that she did a check on our Consent Orders and discovered that Family Court had approved them back on the 21st Jan 2021. My lawyer never got notified of this, but decided to check on it. Glad she did, but honestly would of been better to know a week ago when it was approved.

Consent Orders Finally Court Submitted

I wake up and get a bath. I’ve slept so poorly overnight. I think it might of been due to my mind racing with the details of the court filing and stuff like that. Probably excitement that the shit is finally going to progress to another milestone.

I checked my emails and can see my lawyer sent me a email. I need to sign the first page of a document and send it back, as its needed for the court filing now. So I did that right away and sent it back. I am not going to hold up any part of this process, as I want it done as soon as it can be.

Today marks the day in which our Consent Orders Finally Court Submitted.

Application for Consent Orders finally signed

While Heidi was away I had lawyer send me the updated documents and I’ve sent an iMessage to Heidi advising as such. I left them downstairs for signing. She has signed them right away and I did also. I noticed she missed one, so I took it into her and said when you get out of the shower just sign this missed spot. She made a big deal out of it and said the word fuck more then once. I said sign when your done, no big deal.

Scanned everything in and sent to lawyer at 12.22.

Today marks the day in which our Application for Consent Orders are finally signed for subsequent court submission.

When your now ex-wife unfriends you on facebook

Yes I discovered on today my Birthday that my ex-wife unfriended me on Facebook. I was doing something and noticed that next to her name on Facebook it showed the Friend Request button. Which means she had unfriended me.

I confronted her about this it turns out she did this 2 days earlier and she wondered how I worked it out so quickly.

2020-12-10 – Add Friend button shown.
2020-12-10 – Add Friend button shown.

You also need to remember that at the time she did this we still live together in the same house and still working through the process of separation and getting our documents through court.

I’ll be honest, I found this to be a bit shocking when I discovered it. I also feel it was quite petty and childish that she felt the need to do this. Especially over the reasons she stated it was performed. Those details can be shared if someone requests them.

The third mention of divorce

My wife was in a very bad mood yesterday. I don’t know why but everyone knew it. She was just pretty unbearable for it. Sounds like one of the kids said something and then she mentioned this in a mid-morning conversation.

I wasn’t prepared at all for what comes next. This is where your partner throws a grenade on life as you know it.

She lead in the conversation indicating that one of the kids noticed she was not very happy lately — No shit, yesterday was that day. Anyways the next thing she says is I want an open marriage or a divorce and I need to decide. She says we have grown apart – well maybe she has, but I still love her and nothing has changed – sure I been a little annoyed at being pushed away constantly, but I am still here. She says she is not in love, not the way it was initially. Again she has pushed me away beyond the point where I guess I am not important. My wife will be eating dinner with me at the table and be using her phone and talking on Facebook Messenger etc. This is something that she has continued to do for a while and I even made a mention of it back in late November. She also seems to use her phone alot now randomly at night – which I had noticed for a while now. You’ll come to bed and she will be using her phone in the dark or you roll over in the middle of the night and she is using her phone. Like I said, pretty annoying. Her phone usage and secret nature is out of control in the past 12 or more months.

She ends up saying I don’t love you any more and I want to see other people. I want to find happiness.

She had asked for a Divorce back on 17th Nov 2018 after we had a bit of a heated number of words. My oldest boy was present back then and was witness to it. He was very upset. I wasn’t impressed how she presented things back then at that time.

My wife hasn’t been the best communicator in recent years, as she wouldn’t really talk to me about problems. In past conversations she was unhappy that she did everything and felt I was lazy. Sure I can be lazy and hard to motivate, but she will also do something then hold it over your head because she did it. Which really is not nice either. I really wish she sat down and spoke about it, and even helped me take on this work she wanted me too and then hold me accountable to it – rather then just do it and clearly not say anything.

Of course I wasn’t in any mood to hear this conversation, especially since I was trying to work and focus on work at hand. I told her to leave me alone and I didn’t want to hear it.

It was soon after this that I felt my world and life was falling apart. I then had a migraine come on and that take me over for the next 36 hours or more.
I’ve never felt so hurt in my life. Talk about the biggest blow. I really hate myself, and I hate the fact that it came to this. If only she was more open about the situation that has caused her to push me further away all this time. Of course I noticed everything, but I gave her space, and that hasn’t done anything for the situation.

I am in no mood to think about it or consider what she said, because I am just not seeing things straight. I continue to work through the day and even at one point was going to excuse myself the rest of the day around 3pm – because the migraine was insane and I just needed to think.

I honestly can see how people get caught up in this and make rash decisions like commit criminal acts and/or take one’s own life. It really does overwhelm you.

My only focus is my kids. I don’t want them to go through a divorce and honestly, I am not sure how what she has proposed would affect me. I feel compromised thinking about an open marriage, and honestly lets face it. I married the woman I loved at the time and had kids with her. I don’t feel any differently about her, sure I wish intimacy and everything else was like it was when we was first married. This might be one pill hard to swallow.

Pleading with her

Trying to plead with Heidi that divorce is a big ting. With that comes alot of changes. For one the life we have no together and everything we have done is pretty much gone. That lifestyle and possessions is gone.

As I mentioned yesterday, I don’t want it to happen as I would see my kids so much less. Being cut out of the life of your kids and only seeing them every so often would be a blow. Not to mention how they would feel about the situation. Ican’t even imagine what it would look like on paper. It would turn everything upside down.

I approached the subject of counseling but she dismissed this completely. The problem is I don’t do enough to help, so its on me to change and with that she will change. Doesn’t sound rather fair or promising does it now?

Today I got the kids clothes out for tomorrow and laid them downstairs for the morning after I dropped them off at school.

When I dropped D. off – he surprised me by saying he would live with me if we split up. I can’t say i expected that to be honest. I don’t think Heidi probably knows that either. I believe she thinks both kids would go live with her – don’t think she considered what they want.

I picked up kids as usual and got them to change back into PJ’s and ensured we put dirty clothes away. I made sure they both got baths and also got dinner ready so that could eat before Heidi got home – just so she had a headstart on things.

I’ll try to do the above every Tuesday moving forward.

Heidi’s mood was better tonight and although when we had dinner she still was more interested in her phone – perhaps that will change too, if not I will bring it up in a few weeks time. Because it’s simply bullshit.

EDIT: I stopped writing my journals after this day. I wish I didn’t because a lot happens from this day until the next time some major events play out. For the next 2 years my wife slowly pushes me out of the relationship.

The second mention of divorce

Heidi again approaches the subject of divorce – this time when no one is around just us.

I am pretty taken back by it, because this to me is a total kick in the pants. I consider this a big failure by any standard. Felt bad all day and night after this was raised by her.

The first mention of divorce

While doing the Christmas Lights out the front today – things got a little heated and Heidi says maybe we should get a divorce.

Our eldest son was nearby and was quite upset by what she said. I can’t say this was a good thing to come out in front of the kids like that. I am certainly not impressed.

We eventually move on from it and finish what we had to do. Nothing further said about it…

We renewed our Wedding vow’s on a cruise

Heidi arranged for our Wedding Vow’s to be renewed during a cruise that covered our 13th Wedding Anniversary.

It was a very special day and she looked very beautiful. Below is one of our photos from this day which we had professionally taken onboard.

Renewed our Wedding vows – 2016-10-25.