Pleading with her

Trying to plead with Heidi that divorce is a big ting. With that comes alot of changes. For one the life we have no together and everything we have done is pretty much gone. That lifestyle and possessions is gone.

As I mentioned yesterday, I don’t want it to happen as I would see my kids so much less. Being cut out of the life of your kids and only seeing them every so often would be a blow. Not to mention how they would feel about the situation. Ican’t even imagine what it would look like on paper. It would turn everything upside down.

I approached the subject of counseling but she dismissed this completely. The problem is I don’t do enough to help, so its on me to change and with that she will change. Doesn’t sound rather fair or promising does it now?

Today I got the kids clothes out for tomorrow and laid them downstairs for the morning after I dropped them off at school.

When I dropped D. off – he surprised me by saying he would live with me if we split up. I can’t say i expected that to be honest. I don’t think Heidi probably knows that either. I believe she thinks both kids would go live with her – don’t think she considered what they want.

I picked up kids as usual and got them to change back into PJ’s and ensured we put dirty clothes away. I made sure they both got baths and also got dinner ready so that could eat before Heidi got home – just so she had a headstart on things.

I’ll try to do the above every Tuesday moving forward.

Heidi’s mood was better tonight and although when we had dinner she still was more interested in her phone – perhaps that will change too, if not I will bring it up in a few weeks time. Because it’s simply bullshit.

EDIT: I stopped writing my journals after this day. I wish I didn’t because a lot happens from this day until the next time some major events play out. For the next 2 years my wife slowly pushes me out of the relationship.